You are basically an older and less wise version of me, with
@valamhic someplce in between
this reply is not a criticism of your comments it is a little advice to the already wise declan .
looking at someones life with hindsight is a luxury those who have to live the life do not have .
you react to events in your life,
you are not master of your life and issue wise instructions from a height on those below .
you wait many years to find a companion/partner in life and when you are aware you and the life you lead are not conventional it take a special person to be forgiving of the reality forced upon us .
you then embark on a family and once the baby is born your previous life is only a memory .
when you are rearing kids they are the masters of your destiny for a few years .
when they are fully qualified and able to earn their own money it takes until their age 26 on average today as it is a degree plus 2 years masters at a minimum currently costing 18 grand a year each +++++.
only then can the parents retire from their careers as they are a couple again --- i have a year to go to be a couple again .
i am converting a large coach for our travels it has already 2 generators and all the wood paneling and water systems ,
in America a late 1990s non slide prevost sells approx 200,000 dollars to 150,000--- mine will be similar but not upholstered the same and for a fraction of the cost .
i do not feel unwise i do feel very wealthy and i am over weight and this is a real problem .
i am not poor in mind or pocket and my start was violent and rough as i had a extreme alcoholic in my family and it took me 30 years to get free of a junkie that drinks .
i am one of the luckiest people alive and i have traveled much of the world and i have 2 great kids --my wife is my rock and it is she who has the compass now .
my father was a bus driver /mechanic who reared and raced greyhounds for an income when 18 and he said he was born a slave as he was born in 1911 pre ireland .
i his son proposed to my wife in the garden of the Taj Mahal , he reared a teacher a university lecturer and a legal woman and one bus driver/mechanic despite being married to an alcoholic .
my son/daughter are totally disconnected from my and my fathers life --it is too strange for them their mother is a teacher who is asleep in her bed while her husband is under a bus at 3 in the morning as it has to be ready at 0700 .
the appalling behavior of drunks and junkies is not what they wish to experience and have takes steps to make sure they don't .
they are not fully wise in their choice but our family have rejected my life as one worth living despite the riches it has brought to them .
wisdom is subjective .